Bittersweet

Today was a hard day. It was a happy occasion because we were celebrating baby-to-be Alexis at Brian & Erin's Baby Shower. But it was also a very sad day for me and my family because I know my mom wanted more than anything to be there. We honored her by making a seat for her and lighting a candle next to a picture of her. A friend of Erin's was kind enough to buy a grandmother bracelet and we put it next to the picture. Needless to say....I've been in tears all day. It was a loverly shower. I was very happy that a few relatives, a few of my friends and several family friends came to represent my mom and our side of the family. She got lots of great gifts. Alexis will be dressed in style. I bought a bunch of cute little outfits, the baby bath tub Erin wanted and I re-finished my moms play high chair that her father built for her. My dad gave a toy box that Erin wanted. And then there was the cross-stitch from my mom. I couldn't even take pictures because I was crying so much. My friend Linda spent every night for the last two months finishing it for my mom. I told my mom when she was in the hospital the last time, that I was going to have Linda finish it and she was so happy that someone was willing to do that for her. I wish my mom would have been able to finish it...but things just didn't work out that way. It turned out beautifully and I am so grateful that Linda offered to do it. The last time my mom was in the hospital (I knew things were very bad), I took a notepad with me and asked her if there was anything she wanted to say to the baby. I wrote down her random thoughts. I took her thoughts and composed them into a letter to Alexis. The letter......is attached to the back of the picture and one day when Alexis is old enough...I hope that Brian and Erin will read that letter to her and tell her what a wonderful grandma she had.

I hope I made you proud today mom.