Nostalgic

The Bash For Bev was a success. All (most) of my close friends and family were there to celebrate my mom. I passed out old recipes and forget-me-not seeds to everyone. It feels like a mission to do everything I can to keep my moms spirit alive. I hope everyone will try her recipes and plant the seeds and think of her. I think everyone had a good time. Frank manned the grill (THANK YOU FRANK), Dustin mixed cement so the kids (and Linda) could make stepping stones (THANK YOU DUSTIN). And everyone else just ate, drank, browsed recipes and old pictures, we toasted my mom. It was a nice day. I hope she was looking down on us.

I also had my 20 year class reunion the night before. It was fun. I wasn't excited about going....but went anyway. I told myself I'd stay an hour and stayed four. Oddly enough...I hung out with the guy who made my life hell in Junior High. He picked on me terribly, called me fat, said the ground shook when I walked. He was as fat as me at the time...so in defense....I had to call him fat. He came back to school after one summer break...he was thin, and he never made fun of me again. I never forgot that. He apologized several times for picking on me and we had a good time.

Since then...I've been feeling nostaligic and have been going through old pictures. I have boxes of pictures. I have artwork from my days in Commerical Art. I saved alot of things from my younger years. Yet....why am I keeping all this stuff? Who will want my things when I die??? If I never get married or have kids...what will happen to all my posessions when I die? Who will care about my photographs, all of my memories, my autographs of famous musicians? All of my belongings? I have cool stuff. Will it go in the garbage? To Good Will? My cats? Will they end up on the streets? I thought alot about my mom yesterday. I feel guilty about selling her things...I know she is probably furious that we are getting rid of her posessions. She thought everything was valuable...but there is just way too much to keep. I am hanging on to things that are important to me...but I can't keep everything. Nor can Brian and Erin. I took Erin to visit my friend Teresa who just had a baby girl on tuesday. I hoped it would ease her fears about child birth since she will be delievering soon. I looked at little Natalie and wonder what Alexis will look like. Does my mom already know? I ended up in tears on the drive home because I miss my mom so much and it breaks my heart that she isn't here to see her Grand Daughter. Life isn't fair.