I saw two rainbows across from the hospital today. They were beautiful against the dark sky. I thought of my mom. Was that her smiling over baby Alexis? I have to believe it was. It makes me feel better.
Only parents and grandparents are allowed in to see the baby because she is in NICU. They granted me permission in place of my mom, since she is not with us. So I feel very fortunate to have been given the opportunity to see her. Her birth was a bit scary....she had to be given CPR because she wasn't breathing on her own. But she is doing very well now. I went in the NICU with Brian and Erin tonight because Erin was able to feed her for the first time. I felt....overwhelmed with joy. I couldn't stop smiling as I starred at this beautiful little life. I haven't felt joy and happiness in............I don't know how long. It feels like forever. I am so thrilled to be an Aunt. I have to make my mom proud and spoil that little girl, like I know she would.
Welcome beautiful baby Alexis.
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Dear Sandra, I have sat here reading your whole blog in order - at times crying along with you, at times nodding in agreement. There are many things I would like to say, perhaps you can email me or comment on my blog so I can get in touch with you ? I have lost my dad, grandmother, great aunt and my husband in the last 10 years.....none worse than my husband being ill for almost 2 years though. I am glad that you have the chance for grief counseling - I am sorry I didn't find your blog before, but I know there is a reason I did now. You are a strong gal, and just reading your blog makes me know that your mom was very proud of you - and still is. Their love never leaves us, ever. Hugs and belated condolences to you - Pam in Northeastern California. www.lilacacres.wordpress.com
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