It hasn't been a good week for my mom. Starting with the port issues, now she is having alot of pain and discomfort and she hasn't been able to move her bowels. I hate seeing her in pain. It kills me. I hear her moan in pain and my neck starts burning. I wake up shaking. All I want to do is sleep. I was supposed to go to church tonight with some dear friends of the family...and I just felt to uncomfortable to go. I pray that she sleeps ok tonight because we have to be back at the hospital tomorrow morning to have her port redone.
I have to thank my good friend Linda for doing some cooking for my parents this weekend. I have been running out of ideas on what I can cook for my parents. I have no desire to eat myself...let alone cook for them. I am having a hard time keeping up with work, cleaning, cooking and laundry at two houses. I feel like I'm....in a fog. I don't feel like I am living. I'm alive...but mearly going through the motions.
I am sorry Lord that I did not pray to you at church today. I wanted to go...I justfelf more comfortable being closer to home. I want to feel your presence in my life....but I don't feel you. I don't know how to find you. All the prayers from these wonderful people don't seem to be working. I'm so scared.
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