Show and Tell

Tonight we had a bit of show and tell at my support group. We were asked to bring in a memory of our loved one so that everyone would be able to put a face with the story. I knew right away what I was going to bring. I showed the recipe scrapbook that I made for her. It wasn't necesarily a memory of her, but of the love everyone had for her. It showed the love she had for cooking. So many people took the time to write down their favorite recipe and gather a few pictures to send me for the project. It was six months in the making and I still remember watching her open it. It got passed around the room and everyone jokingly asked if the stuffing recipe was in there. It has been a sore subject lately. Everyone showed pictures of their loved one. "J" showed pictures of her daughter who died of lukemia at age 20. They got her a puppy and she named the puppy Chemo because he was therapy for her. She is going to have the dog trained to be a hospital therapy dog for sick children going through chemo. I think that is awesome. "L" showed pictures of her son. He was in his 20's. "N" showed pictures of her adorable little brother who was 4 years old I think. "P" shared pictures from a cruise of her mother who had dementia (sp?) It made everyones losses feel all the more real. It made the pain all the more real.

The ladies in my group are wonderful and I feel very lucky to have met them. We were brought together because of a tragedy in our lives and have bonded because of it. I hope we will remain in contact with each other. I'd like to hope we were brought together for a reason. Cornerstone of Hope was suggested to me by my friend Dean. We met on a dating site awhile back, but I can't help but wonder if there was a greater reason for our meeting????? He led me to this wonderful place and I am thankful to him for that.

"A" who lost her son forgot to bring her show and tell item tonight and somehow we got into a discussion on if she had any videos of her son (who was in his 20's) so that she could watch him and hear his voice. Suddenly I remembered the voicemails on my dads cellphone from my mom. I left the meeting and went straight to my dads. Called his voicemail. They were still saved. I stood in the family room in tears with my dad and Woody (friend) starring at me, wondering why I was crying. It was my mom....almost like she came back to life. Her voice filling my ear. I lost it. Tomorrow I will call my dad's cellphone company to see about getting those messages made into mp3's. I've heard it can be done. I don't want to ever forget her voice. It comforts me. I took her coat on the way out. It's been hanging by the back door since she wore it last. I don't think I'll ever wash it.