I was having a fine day. I got home at 3am laast night because some friends and I went to a midnight screening of New moon. Which I LOVED!!! I slept in a bit and got up and went to see it again. I went grocery shopping, I cooked a roast & baked some cupcakes and wrapped some gifts for the baptisms on sunday. Everything was fine....until I went across the street to take some food over to my dad. He wasn't home. The house was dark. It felt so empty. Lifeless. I opened the door to my moms room....now nearly empty. My heart sank. I stood there in the middle of the room motionless as the tears started. I walked out and closed the door. Does closing the door help us to forget that she isn't there anymore. If we can't look into the empty room, then we aren't reminded that she is relly gone. Is that why the door is always closed?? It's always closed when I go there. I only got worse as I walked into my dads room. I sat on his bed (the exact spot where she died) and lost it. I don't know how long I layed there crying. I couldn't stop.
God help me. I don't want my life any more. I'm so tired of crying. When is it going to get better??
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